Outreach
written
ca. 1999
edited 6/20/2012
I
wrote this in the winter of 1999, just after I had started working
for the city. It is an account of one of my first times going out
with an outreach team. Parts of it make me cringe a little and I can clearly tell in certain sentences that I am just repeating what someone has told me Still, it is an historical document of sorts. I have changed names where I think that is a good idea.
I
get off work around five o'clock and leave our building on the west
side to walk over towards City Hall to catch the 6 uptown. I have no
idea what it would be like after dark to walk down the deserted
streets of the South Bronx, but my own neighborhood was similar and,
by now, felt very safe to me. I cross under the Bruckner Expressway,
foolishly looking the wrong way at one point, and came to the avenue I'm looking for. In any case, the streets are not deserted at all. A lot of
people live here.
As
I walk down the avenue, on the right is an unending row of
steel-shuttered garages - some painted with national colors and some
covered with graffiti - and on the left are several streets that open
strange vistas as I pass. The first contains a surprising collection
of restored houses, bay-windowed and nearly identical, stretching out
to the east. The next doesn't seem so well-kept but also seems more
familiar or at least more normal. In the distance a McDonalds
beckons - an oasis of familiarity in a new landscape. After passing
several more dark cross streets I finally arrive at the parking lot
of the huge complex that contains the drop-in center. As I walk up the
stairs two figures call out "Carl?" It is Rob and Lana,
whom I had met before but who generously introduce themselves to me
for a second time.
We
walk back to the drop-in to wait for Steve, their boss. There is
nothing like a drop-in center if you haven't seen one before. There
are upwards of fifty homeless folks sitting around, gazing into
space, chatting, reading, or just waiting (clearly) for something.
The smell, too, is very distinctive - sweat and something else,
probably cheap cleaning liquid. Steve comes in, apologizing for
being late. He had run to the McDonalds to get a Coke. He is about
my age and his voice is hoarse the way a quarterback's is. He is
very enthusiastic about outreach and I was warned to dress rough to
go out with him. Rob has a nice pair of pants on and is teased about
it. The team works from four to midnight, and since I won't be with
them the whole time, they want to give me an overview while still
reaching the people they want to see. They are one of the better
outreach groups and have prepared color maps showing the
concentration and types of homeless people in each community district
throughout the Bronx. It won't be too cold tonight so my presence
won't be disrupting routine too much. When it dips below 32 degrees,
the teams are able to call in Emergency Services to scoop up any
homeless people who seem at risk.
Our
first stop is a known hangout location, and when we get there a fire
is burning disconsolately in a can and a dog stirs lazily but
watchfully under a car. The block is dark and steel shutters grace
most of the doorways, yet Lana pulls up confidently, and
apparently randomly, in front of one of the doorways. Rob gets out
and knocks on a door "Hey Peanut, you in there? It's Rob,
homeless outreach." Someone stirs and soon Peanut emerges. He
is gaunt and his face is lined, but he seems to be wearing new
glasses. Rob and Lana start to banter with him - "You look
good! How have you been? You been working?" Steve doesn't
know the clients as well and he asks if Peanut has been to the drop-in, interrupting Rob's attempts to learn some more life history.
Steve has a very aggressive approach to outreach and sets quotas for
each worker. He will also talk to people long after the rest of us
are cold and back in the van.
Slowly,
as we talk to Peanut, other people emerge from the shadows, like
ghosts in a seldom-visited haunted house. Lana has food she has
made - a turkey stew - but she wants to save it for the frailer folks
she hopes we will see later. Still, she hands out bowls to everyone.
They all know Rob, but they all love Lana. Many, throughout the
night, will insist she be present before they accept services, but
she is tough and insists that they handle their situations
realistically. I often hear her say "You look awful, why don't
you come inside?"
One
of the things we ask everyone is Where are you staying? and How many
people are there? There is no hesitation, they are happy to tell us.
Most people don't mind Outreach until it gets too insistent. As we
are leaving, a prostitute, obviously high, stops the van and demands
condoms. The atmosphere, overall, is definitely collegial - even the
most recalcitrant or stoned are very polite. We warn them that the
police will be by later and offer a place to stay - many are grateful
for the interaction but decline the offer, often saying vaguely "Oh
on Tuesday I'll come by."
Rob and Steve want to take me to the weirdest places, so we leave more
quickly than normally. On the way we see several more sex workers
and offer them condoms and sandwiches. The routine is very specific,
we can't engage them in a way that will draw the attention of the
police or disrupt business, yet many sex workers are homeless and the four or five I see are all stoned out of their minds. One
complains that the condoms the city gives the outreach team to
distribute taste awful. Rob laughs and says "Talk to the city,
he's sitting in the back!"
Steve is anxious to check out the new sites we have been tipped off to, so
we drive down boulevards of shuttered buildings to the end of the
line - to Conrail property (we're not really allowed on private
property) where Lana navigates the van over the tracks to a
collection of huge containers surrounded by trash. No one is there
but the tension is palpable. The scene is very much like the back of
a trailer park deep in the Catskills. We walk around piles of junk,
our flashlights illuminating only the smallest area, not knowing what
would show up next. We walk around the dumpsters, feeling like deer
hunters in a woods full of riflemen. The containers loom over us.
No one is around but Steve keeps walking deeper into the dark. I
retreat to the van.
I
think one of the thrills about this work is the strange freedom it
brings - the freedom to walk into areas I normally wouldn't, couldn't
or shouldn't. Seeing the kinds of places normally only visible from
the window of a Metro North train is wonderfully satisfying, like
being allowed at last into a private garden.
The
next location is an empty field near the Bronx River. There is one
guy there, but he won't leave unless Lana goes with him. We walk
to the bridge and up to the huge hollow under the roadway - we can
see where the fence has been cut and the fires lit. Flashing our
lights under the bridge we can see an empty space - a bare dirt floor
with a large cement block in the center like an altar. We can see
the burn marks on the walls from many fires. Fire is a huge problem,
as in the Arctic. When people die in cold weather, it is often from
falling into their fires. Many of the fenced in yards seem to have
guard dogs patrolling - dogs are one of the biggest problems the
outreach teams face. There are also dirt paths down to the river (as
there are to any river) but this is for many a river without banks.
Only the people who live here in the field or under the bridge would
use them. For the rest of us the river is just a temporary dropping
out of the ground from beneath the expressway.
Next
we pull in behind a post office. Cars are parked helter skelter in a
dirt driveway that slopes down to a drainage ditch. A very fluffy
pussycat pokes around expectantly as Rob leads me through a small,
unusable lot to a collection of garbage that eventually becomes a
door. I can't help thinking of Mr. Badger's door in the Great
Wildwood. Rob knocks politely but no one is home. Eventually we
notice that the door is placed in such a way that no one could have
propped it so from the inside, and we move on. The cat trots around
and beside us affectionately. Steve and Lana have found a
gentleman encamped on the cement porch of a building and while he is
telling them his story we walk over to his stuff. It is very neat -
a bed with many blankets, a collection of useless but tidy junk, and
rows of cans and bottles all arranged for recycling. One of the
blankets stirs and Rob calls a name but a dog's nose pokes out
instead. Knowing that that the dogs are often very territorial Rob backs away quietly, but the dog seems friendly so I talk to it as Rob leads me back to the van. The gentleman's story is far from over but
he is clearly not going anywhere, so we walk over to a nearly hidden
shanty which is barricaded behind a chain link fence. Rob knocks and
eventually rouses someone - a male voice politely declines the offer.
Rob says many people will come in only if they must. We pile back in
the van a drive away.
The
next spot is the wildest. We stop the van right in the middle of an
expressway off-ramp and Rob leads us out over the concrete barrier
and under the road, all the while cars are screaming by the van. We
creep over the barrier and under the ramp and Rob calls out his
greeting. A very small man answers. He has an immaculate space under
the ramp, a couple of boards and mattresses propped up into a shack.
He declines assistance. Most of these people have a regularly
ordered existence, perhaps more ordered than my own, which allows
them to avoid the police and remain fairly independent. As we are
speaking his neighbor arrives. Rob leads me over more barriers and
suddenly we're in another world. The train tracks and the seemingly
abandoned buildings form a backdrop for this life which is invisible
from the expressway. Rob bangs his head crawling over the cement
supports. I feel like I am seeing the backside of an enormous stage
set. The cramped scenery of the roads gives way to a vista of
tracks, fences and grubby buildings that stretches out surprisingly
far. Beyond that, what looks like fields, and beyond them the
skyscrapers of New York City. I wonder how much of this empty space
is hidden around the city. The people who see it are probably
working or surviving - for them, I imagine, it holds none of the
majesty I see: the faded glory of a shabby Samarkand, with the
turrets of Manhattan glinting in the sun, as far removed in time as
they are in space.
The
next stop is another underpass. A place designed to allow people to
cross the Bruckner safely on foot, only the walkway is littered with
at least a ton of garbage. Again we stop in the middle of the road,
and as we do we can see someone lighting up a crack pipe. The stench
of the garbage is nearly drowned out by the smell of piss and the
whizzing of the passing cars doesn't cover the sound of rats rustling
in the mess. Steve is fascinated by the rats and points them out and,
I think, imagines them everywhere. They are not even particularly
big when we do see them. A tall guy steps out from the little nest
and chats tiredly with Rob and Lana. I guess that he is not
pleased to be wasting his high on a bunch of social workers, but he
remains cordial. There are two women with him, one is quite high and
comes wandering over to us. The other is only twenty and since the
general feeling is that catching the street homeless young is the
only way to really help them, the team tries to coax her back to the drop-in. She is technically too young ("The teenage vibes
disturb the atmosphere" is how they put it), but since Steve is
the boss he can bend the rules for one night. It doesn't work in any
case. More importantly, the walkway has become a sore point in the
community and the team warns them that since a Community Board
meeting has been scheduled on the issue they had better move. It
seems strange that the place was allowed to become such a mess, since
the police and sanitation workers have recently cleaned up a
neighboring underpass. Even though the homeless problem is now the
concern of the police, I don't think they enjoy having to deal with
it. Homeless people are rarely around when everyone else is so
they're hard to police. The cannier ones make their homes far from
the prying eyes of the general public.
Finally,
an empty lot. I've lost all sense of where we are except that we're
still in the South Bronx. The lot really does seem empty and our
flashlights only pick up the remnants of a well-scavenged yard. We
can tell, I am told, that the lot has just recently been bulldozed
because there is very little vegetation growing on the dirt. At the
back is another of the surprisingly well-hidden shanties. At our
greeting a small, lively Hispanic man emerges. He seems quite young
and coherent. A good number of people work but have no place to
stay. He is one. Rob asks about the owner of a nearby shanty that I
can just barely make out in the darkness, and he leads us volubly
over to it. It's not the Hector Rob was looking for but another one
- our friend mentions that Hector has just gotten out of jail and
then shuts up quickly and motions us not to mention that. Hector 2
says he is just staying with Hector 1 for the night before he moves
on, and whether this is true or not, he doesn't want any help.
We
go back to the drop-in so Steve can drive me home, but things get
complicated: someone has put his fist through the wall of the smoking
room, and no one is talking. Anger tends to erupt like this in these
environments. In addition the showers, which have just been fixed,
are a mess. Apparently it was a shoddy piece of work and they are no
better for it. Eventually it is decided that people can still smoke
in the room, and Steve has discovered that one of the clients knows
all there is to know about building showers, so he says the guy can
work on them. The policy is not to have clients working on things
but the guy is so knowledgeable and the showers are such a mess that
it just fits.
It
turns out my apartment is only ten minutes away.
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